This week has been a neverending shit storm.
My grandmother passed away yesterday.
I got a call from my mother on Thursday evening informing me that Grandma had sort of given up and was no longer eating and it was only a matter of time. Not shocking... she's been in decline for awhile... but such bad, bad timing.
I had literally just put Tom on a plane to Virginia that evening to attend HIS grandfather's funeral. His grandfather passed away earlier in the week. On top of his financial troubles due to a tax mix-up. And his sister's car broke down here in Waltham while he was trying to diagnose the problems she was having with it so they could get to the funeral. Thankfully their mother finally bought them plane tickets... because I was about to do it myself.
I thought the trouble was over. And then it was my turn.
So I got the call from my mom that night letting me know to be prepared. She and my aunt had to cut their vacation in Canada short to be with Grandma. I knew this was coming, but I was upset... alone in the apartment for the weekend. Friday morning I intended to go work a few hours to make up for time I took off to get Tom to the airport and to fax his tax paperwork for him. But the fates decided that I should have a fender bender in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot first. Not my fault. The dude backed right into me and dented my car inward over the rear driver's side wheel well. It will be taken care of in time. But still, not something I needed when I was on the verge of a breakdown already.
When I got to work, I lost my shit in front of the paint crew. Bawling to the point of choking and gagging. Really charming, I'm sure. I faxed Tom's papers, submitted an online claim to my car insurance, and explained my situation to Swetcky when he arrived at the shop. He told me to go home and play video games. So I did.
I went home, got under Tom's comforter that was still on the couch from his sister crashing with us, and played Skyrim for eight hours straight. I figured if I stayed inside, nothing else bad could happen to me. The comforter calmed me... smelled like Tom. I missed him terribly. He's the person I wanted a hug from the most.
Saturday, I did venture out... Swetcky invited me to Crane Beach with him, York, and Krystin. And I'm glad I went, even though I barely spoke. Getting outside was nice. I swam in the ocean. Felt good. Then of course I got sunburned because I forgot to reapply my sunscreen. But it was worth it. We visited the Crane Estate... where my damned shoe broke and set me off crying again for a minute. We got ice cream at Russell Orchards on our way back.
And that night, I called home to check in on how everyone was holding together, but nobody answered. My mother called me shortly after from her cell phone and told me that Grandma was gone. Grandma's brother Elmer had come to visit her, after which he went to dinner with my mother and my aunt, and while they were gone, Grandma let herself go. They had told her everyone was okay and she could go if she wanted. So she did.
I still don't know if they've told my grandfather yet. He's been staying in a nursing home recovering from a bout of anemia.
I'd already done my crying earlier, so I took my mother's news calmly. It's a relief her suffering is over. She wouldn't have wanted to go on that way.
Grandma's graveside memorial service will be next Sunday. I've already booked travel. I leave Friday and will be in the Northwest until early Monday morning. Pastor Ross is going to officiate the service and my mother is trying to get the string quartet to come play something.
Right now, I'm waiting up for Tom to return. He and his sister flew down to VA, but now he's driving back up with his dad and his brother Sean so they can attempt to fix Katherine's car. Sounds like everyone is crashing here tonight, but then their dad will stay with their aunt and uncle nearby, and Sean will continue to sleep on our couch... I guess until the car issue is resolved, however long that may be. They are supposed to show up any time now. I wouldn't be able to sleep until I knew they got here safely anyway, so I might as well wait to greet them.
George just got back after a weekend away with his girlfriend. He has offered me a ride to the airport on Friday. That will be nice...
My finger look amazing! I was expecting a total Frankenfinger to emerge from the wrappings, but Dr. Chandrasekar is a freakin' miracle worker! Yes, the fingernail is missing, but it's not really gross... just kinda scabby on the skin that would normally be covered by the fingernail. And all the disgusting dead tissue is just plain gone! In surgery, he scraped away the layers of black, dead skin. No traces remain! Just fresh pink skin (a little tender, but totally healthy looking. There's no swelling. No bruising. No huge stiches. The surgical incision is at the very tip of my finger and it's very small... the stitches are practically invisible, some sort of tiny filament. I'm reall-y happy!! My finger is going to be absolutely fine! Also, he was able to pin it in a way that won't impede my range of motion at all. I can already bend my finger all the way (although slowly because it's stiff from being held still so long).
So that totally made my day and now I'm on this sort of "healing high" and I feel all determined to make a new weight loss effort and look into my possible hypertension problem. I'm not officially diagnosed with high blood pressure, but the last few times I've been to a doctor they've mentioned it was high (granted, those were all times when I was sick or injured, so it was hard to tell). When I came out of surgery for my finger, I overheard discussion over my papers and it was said that my blood pressure remained high the entire time... So it's probably safe to assume that if it didn't even drop while I was under anesthesia, I've got a touch of hypertension. No shock... My father has high blood pressure too. I just did a little research, and I'm betting that if I'm a good girl and drink water like I'm supposed to, it'll help both my blood pressure and weight loss... and the vitamins that help lower blood pressure will also assist in weight loss and relieving depression. So I've made a little list and I'm going to take a walk to CVS to buy vitamin supplements and an automatic blood pressure monitor. I'll keep an eye on it and see if dietary changes will make enough of a difference. I'd really rather not get myself stuck on blood pressure meds yet... I just joined a free website where I can record things like caloric intake, water consumption, weight, body measurements, and blood pressure.
We'll see. I'm always enthusiastic about this shit for about three days and then forget about it... But I freakin' weigh 230 lbs. at this very moment. I had been down to 200 a year ago. I still wear the same size clothes, though. I don't care so much about my weight as I do my measurements. I wear a size 16. Still the smallest I've been since middle school. But it would so amazing to make it down to a 12. Shopping would become infinitely easier.
I have a follow-up appointment with my hand surgeon today at 1:40, so I'm about to head off to the bus. He'll take the bandages off and give it a look... Hopefully I can go without such huge wrappings anymore!
Then when I get home, the rest of my day will be focused on cleaning up my bedroom enough for my two lovely ladies to visit!
Didn't make it to work today like I had hoped. When my alarm went off at 5:15 this morning, my whole body just said "I DON'T THINK SO." The effects of anethesia, antibiotics, and painkillers on my system... they finally showed themselves. All I could do was take another pill and pass out. I'm feeling much better at the moment. I slept away most of the day. I have the pain under control again, but I occasionally wiggle my finger on accident and I think I'm feeling a combination of no fingernail plus stitches... and it's super freaky. I really have no idea what's under the wrappings.
I'm home from the hospital (typing is slow, so I'll make this brief...) The surgery went well. The bone is pinned and the doc did reconstructive surgery on the nail bed, so everything should go back to looking normal. No sickness from anethesia at all. They gave me a dose of antibiotics with my IV to prevent bone infection. They did have a little trouble with my IV at first. Apparently my veins are tiny. So I got poked twice, but it wasn't bad. George picked me up and brought me home, bless him. We stopped at CVS to fill my vicodin prescription. I just have to remember to take the pills BEFORE the pain creeps back. My right hand is almost completely bound. I guess my middle finger is splinted and taped to my index finger, and then both those fingers are wrapped up in a dressing that also covers my palm and wrist. The bandages have to stay on until a follow-up appointment next week. So yeah, no work for me tomorrow. I will be drugged up, and there's not much I'd even be able to do in the office with my hand bound like this. Guess I'll be learning some left-handed drafting!
Now excuse me... I'm going to indulge in some comforting junk food and watch shitty daytime TV. :-P
The Robyn concert at Boston House of Blues was AMAZING. Holy shit. Best concert I've ever seen!!!! And definitely the first electronica show that actually sounded great live! Plus she performed The Girl and the Robot off of Royksopp's "Junior" album! I'm still geeking out... She had so much energy, she sounded great live... The crowd was really into it (... definitely mostly gay couples there, haha) and I got jostled around a lot in all the jumping and screaming. The two opening acts weren't so great... but then Robyn blasted onstage and it was absolutely perfect. I adore her. And her style. God dammit, I wish I'd taken my camera to get video clips!!!!
I am freezing right now!!! Argh...
Well it's the first day of NaNoWriMo, and I've only logged a measly 395 words... just two opening paragraphs. But at least it's a start. I barely spent any time on it... in my defense, I'm freakin' tired! My move is finally official. All my stuff is either in my new room or sitting outside in the last Zipcar car-load. I cleaned the apartment this morning and this evening and turned over the keys about two hours ago. It is out of my hands!! At this point, the stuff in the car out there is going to wait until morning. It's cold, I'm sleepy, and my bed is way too convenient.